All posts by Maureen Unasa

Maureen Unasa is a contrarian Samoan woman unravelling life, love and culture through the art of Samoan weaving

Fifteen years of fraud…..

Oh My Gracious me.  Not winning this morning.  NOT WINNING!

Fifteen years of fraud at this job.  Yes it’s a job.  Maybe it’s community service.  Unpaid volunteer.  If I don’t do this properly (or as properly as I can) then what are we (my husband and I) sending out into the community.  My service to the community is to send out some global commandos.  Awesome beings taking a stand for their world.

Epic failure.  🙁   Questionning whether the higher power was having a bad day or five entrusting these precious gems to me (us).  LOVE actually and the butterfly euphoria where nothing else existed except being together and entertaining the craziest plot of having this beautiful forever, FOREVER.

Clouded (obviously) we spoke it into existence.  Inevitable actually.  Possibly foolish and presently ridiculously stupid was our crazy intoxicated plot of “having kids” achieving our blissful FOREVER.  Oh My Gracious me!!!

Having kids is an amazing FOREVER.  Having to actually PARENT them.  Unseen miscalculation and err from all logic.

NOTE: If it doesn’t involve humans then lead from your heart OTHERWISE use all other indicators of judgement…..like your HEAD and maybe some tons of research.

Pondering with left hand holding my head up, now writing….”What the HELL was I thinking?”  (hmmm I wasn’t actually)

Today is just one of THEM days (that a girl goes through…cue Monica-Don’t take it Personal) <iframe width=”420″ height=”315″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/_EeVlB8Uou8″ frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe>

All before school.

  • #5 plays with #4’s wooden train set.  
  • #4 complains.
  • I ask #5 to put it away before their dad takes them to school.  
  • #5 demands #4 to help her.  
  • #4 ignores her.  
  • #5 screams at #4 to help her.  

Fifteen minutes to go before the bell.

  • Yes, #5 needs to get off her little demanding tantrum and put it away.  
  • #4 could help if he wanted to.  
  • I presented both sides of the argument to both parties.  
  • Both parties not budging.  
  • Test (tease) #4’s unhelpfulness using next terms excursion as a carrot.

Oh My Gracious me!  Warning sirens blaring with the bursting of the dams right in my face that I just wanted to shove something in to stop it or maybe slap it closed.  Pushing #4 out of my immediate space #5 is welling up and pipes, “You are not allowed to push him you know”.  “Are you serious?”, I say to myself.

Still talking to myself, “If you just packed away his trainset we wouldn’t be here right now.  Or maybe not play with it in the first place.  And you wanna tell me what I shouldn’t be doing.  I didn’t push him.  I moved him out of my immediate range of wanting to slap his ‘fingernails-scraping-on-blackboard-wailing-in-my-face’ face because I used his excursion against him so he could help you and you could stop your demanding screaming and go to school HAPPY.  I don’t want to send you unhappy to those poor teachers because I didn’t deal with my $h!t. (not at all referencing my kids) That is not their job.  They need to teach you all the IMPORTANT stuff that I don’t otherwise have time to, so you can have an awesome future…..and think with your HEAD and come up with a logical and wellthought out presentation for your parents of why you want to be with someone at twenty something years old.  ANNNND, I want you to go to school HAPPY.  I WANT FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY DAMMIT!”

Massive conversation in seconds.  Five minutes to go before school.  Losing miserably.  An avalanche of fraudulent parenting.  I need to read even more parenting articles.  I need to do more workshops or something.  In all seriousness, I only have 24 hours like everyone else.  Sometimes I feel like a fraud.  It’s funny how I focus on the uglies.

Conflict management is a transferable skill you know.  Mastery comes with practise.  North Korea and U.S.A. stop being my children.

Acutally when I take it all in. We haven’t done too badly. Stuff to work on. ALWAYS. It’s constant.

Parenting, actually.

p.s.  No children were harmed and sent to school as HAPPY as possible.  Husband came back to make sure I was happy.  Two heads are better than one at this,  I guess.  I am very thankful for him and our plot for FOREVER.

I am God. Yummy chocolates and Lucky Blues – part two

Chocolate cupcakes are still not obeying my magnetic pulling mind commands. I am very grateful however that they have made regular appearances in the last week. My daughter loves making them.

OK.  Got my raffle tickets.  Got Bluey (the stuffed elephant).  Got my view master.  (Remember those days ahhhh)

Thankfully(on this occassion), social media via the facebook page provided a suggestion for balance.  Not sure if this is what was meant but it was my interpretation of balance. 🙂  It is the fourth day and technically I have completed it by D-Day.  Night falls and day comes.

Theres the balance of yellow on the blue.
There’s the balance of yellow on the blue.

Thursday 28th March.  Easter Hat Parade at the primary school.  Excitement brimming over and spilling into my early morning baking.  Packing a scrumptious picnic lunch of kids favourites (witnessed by salivating onlookers of the highschool lot and their over complimenting father) as you do when you’re THEEEE most awesomest mum on the whole planet.  Well, today anyway according to the younger batch.

Easter hats, picnic and art
Easter hats, picnic and art

Casually, I hand over the completed canvas like it was no big deal.  But really.  That was like my first ever canvas painting ever, in my whole life ever!!!….like ever!  The recipient was very appreciative of the dramatic splash of colour these new pieces would make to his workspace.  The creator of the other master piece is responsible for my induction into this whole other world.

3D Masterpiece - mask onto surfboard onto canvas
3D Masterpiece – mask onto surfboard onto canvas

Cutest easter hat parade to the hippest hoppiest sounds.  Hilarious performances which almost (luckily not) had me joining in.  I must apologise to the family of the little girl on the right of my little girl.  All that concentration,  I’m sure your little girl was not intentionally dancing in my little girls space.  I hope you don’t think that she has been raised to be a pushy little know it all who physically guides your little girl back into her dancing space with extra words of encouragement to stay in her dancing space.  (OMG! Red faced and hoping little girls family were all at work or otherwise preoccupied at that moment)  Not enough red face for mum?? How about my little  girl has been boogie-ing her imaginary fluffly bunny rabbit tale a little too hard that she, fully-hands-across-tummy from a stitch and does a bit of massage therapy during the performance. Burst out laughing indicating I’m her mother OR notice nothing and clap.  Woo hoo!  Blending my clapping in with the crowd.

Picnic time followed by raffle draws.  Fingers and toes crossed sending the universe constant positive vibes of finally winning one of these school raffles.  Fifty tickets should definitely help me out.  Forgetting where I was, (actually it was disbelief) an attention seeking shriek of excitement radiated as my little girls name is called for draw number 7.  Not enough excitement for mummy?  How about the final draw?  Draw number 31.  Would you believe it?  I wouldn’t of either but I was there myself so I can vouch for it happening.  YIP.  We won the last one too!  It’s the fifth day and the laws of attraction are in play.

Here are my supernatural correlations and profound ponderings:

1 Bluey still waiting for me  after errands and with me when tickets were bought.

2 Bluey’s trunk is raised which is a sign of good luck in some cultures where there are elephants of course.

3 Won two easter raffles.

4 Raffle number 7 was won by BLUE ticket number 31

5  Little girls birthday is 31st July (31/07 for clarification)

6 Lucky last draw was the 31st draw

7 Completed my first ever canvas painting

8 Sixteen (16) days smokefree  and ahead of schedule (Good Friday was D-Day)

9 Hooked on painting now (been Googling like crazy)

10 Easter is celebrating NEW LIFE – The Resurrection

Night Falls and day comes.

GOOD FRIDAY 29th March.  Easter egging since yesterdays raffle wins.  My younger sister and one of the good toime (time) aunties arrived yesterday to replenish the egg supplies.  You only feel ill for a little while.  Another dose of family love with the brother in law surprising the kids and now my little girl has two besties she can float between. Imagine my bliss.  Chilling.  Hanging.  Chocolate.  Seventeen days smokefree.  The sixth day.  D-Day and being so blessed.  Night falls and day comes.

Saturday 30th March.  Up early to replenish egg supply.  My little girl has been happily playing the trusty Easter Bunny.  Such committment.  The Easter Bunny joins us for our early mall trawl.  Supplies and surprise.  Well, my grateful surprise anyway.  A NEW craft/bargains store has opened at the local mall.  Guess what they had in there?  Five millimeter (5mm) chocolate and turquoise curling ribbons.  I know right?  How freaking EXCITING!  I have just moved your mountains with that right?  So it should because they had heaps of these colours too.  I could not believe what I was witnessing.  I have been looking for these glorious colours for another project and  just dreading overseas shipment if all else failed.  Seriously, you do not realise how golden this moment was.  Like, ‘THATS GOLD!”

Chocolate mat with turquoise heart weave
Chocolate mat with turquoise heart weave

Full circle moment revelation.  This is the seventh day.  Tomorrow will be the thirty first.  It will be Easter Sunday.  Celebrating New Life and The Ressurection.  I have given life to something new in a canvas painting with a new found love for painting.

I am experiencing NEW in many areas of my life.  All five of my children are in school.  I am in a Community Mentoring Course.  I am looking at amalgamating my passions around the middle of the year.  My siblings and I are working on a new family home in Samoa even though my husband has already built it (on the computer).  There is a major shift occurring in my life.

I’m so glad my husband and I did the weeding a couple of weekends ago.  CLEARING the space for clarity to illuminate pathways.

This is the seventh day. So many YUMMY chocolates and gorgeous LUCKY blues.  I am God.  

And this.  Well?  This is bloody AWESOME!

What will you give NEW life to for 2013?