Yes, I know YOU want the answer! Let’s see how much traffic this post will possibly generate(if any) compared to my current religious group of five. 🙂
I do hope you have paid attention to my very very very important disclaimer above. I am an emerging artist and a hopeful writer not a qualified health professional. 🙂
Accompanying child number one (#1) to the doctors a week ago seeking further assistance to remove all traces of our holiday bliss from her skin, proved a marked improvement (unawares I might add) in my own health goals.
Seriously, special rain dance to the scales gods while waiting in the doctors room.
Checking three times for good measure.
Encouraged #1 to jump on the scales and check the health of the scales themselves.
“Stop it mum the docs coming”, #1 whispers with concern.
I reassure her concerns, “And what? He’s gonna put me in the corner or charge me for over exerting his scales?”
(These scales never had this much loved heaped onto it bwahahaha)
She was only too eager to confirm the deceptive scales. The truth was all too much for her to bear. Or was it my rain dance and stifled giggling that was drawing the attention of waiting onlookers. (it’s my job to embarrass my children)
“Mum, the people in reception can see and hear you”.
“Well I have something to be joyful about honey”.
Hahaha. All of a sudden it dawns on her that I was wearing jeans that she hasn’t seen me wear in over a year. Ahh hello honey? (wish she would use her powers of observation in her room too-it’s a teenage mess)
Anyway, walking like a deformed duck in denim is not good for the posture. (I don’t succumb that easily to fashion pressure. If it’s tight. It don’t fit!)
By the way, we did address her skin issues with the doctor.
An ALL inspiring step by step guide to my transformational weight loss filled with steely determination and guts of sacrificial sweat sessions but……sadly NO. It depends really. It might be a false glimmer of hope for some.
My revelation will either inspirate (cupcake’s famous word from MKR) you OR deflate all your notions by obliterating all the recommended health paraphernalia about exercise and diet. It is almost tempting to prove the experts wrong but I know that my miraculous weight loss with ease, was simply a pleasurable sweet bonus of my recent holiday. Oh, if only this delicious treat were the norm and not the exception to the rule.
RULE: Hard work = Results
EXCEPTION: Relaxing, coca cola in a bottle, holiday cigarette smoking, eating when I felt like it. Sweating profusely voluntarily like a pua’a (pig) AND without lifting a single finger, weights let alone my well developed kalo (taro) calves.
I have managed to defy the impossible and lose 12kgs. True Story!
The scale gods confirmed it in the serious abode of health professionals. I am an exception to the rule. My body willingly is/was purely a fine tuned fat burning machine.
Enthusiastically, I shared my new found fat loss success formula to my gorgeous breadwinner and was stunned at his lack of support for my health and the wellbeing of our little family. (Healthy me-Happy family)
If it works then why would I go against what works. Especially with no effort. OMG THAT IS A DREAM for a busy fiery goddess. I can weave and lose weight by just moving my fingers.
Only that according to my maths to reach my goal weight I will need to return to Samoa for ummmmm……only three months.
IT’S ONLY THREE MONTHS. It’s important. A priority.
There is no price to put on
that new fabulicious body my health. I can drop the cigarettes again.
(I am not endorsing smoking & will be quitting again on Good Friday-yeah. Oh and consuming ridiculous amounts of refreshing coke from a glass bottle) I have this holiday habit that takes a couple of months to shake trying to keep the holiday dream alive inside the matrix again.
So there you have my secret formula. It would only cost $600AU off peak but the results will absolutely send you to another realm or an island.
And if I want to keep it off.
Stay in Samoa forever and ever and ever. I just need internet and ribbons and I will be as happy as a pig in mud. Just better looking all over. Ohhhhh Yeahhhhhhh.
Sorry honey. Gotta do this for us. You can always join me 😉 (No, he isn’t having it one bit)