Tag Archives: parenting

Fifteen years of fraud…..

Oh My Gracious me.  Not winning this morning.  NOT WINNING!

Fifteen years of fraud at this job.  Yes it’s a job.  Maybe it’s community service.  Unpaid volunteer.  If I don’t do this properly (or as properly as I can) then what are we (my husband and I) sending out into the community.  My service to the community is to send out some global commandos.  Awesome beings taking a stand for their world.

Epic failure.  🙁   Questionning whether the higher power was having a bad day or five entrusting these precious gems to me (us).  LOVE actually and the butterfly euphoria where nothing else existed except being together and entertaining the craziest plot of having this beautiful forever, FOREVER.

Clouded (obviously) we spoke it into existence.  Inevitable actually.  Possibly foolish and presently ridiculously stupid was our crazy intoxicated plot of “having kids” achieving our blissful FOREVER.  Oh My Gracious me!!!

Having kids is an amazing FOREVER.  Having to actually PARENT them.  Unseen miscalculation and err from all logic.

NOTE: If it doesn’t involve humans then lead from your heart OTHERWISE use all other indicators of judgement…..like your HEAD and maybe some tons of research.

Pondering with left hand holding my head up, now writing….”What the HELL was I thinking?”  (hmmm I wasn’t actually)

Today is just one of THEM days (that a girl goes through…cue Monica-Don’t take it Personal) <iframe width=”420″ height=”315″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/_EeVlB8Uou8″ frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe>

All before school.

  • #5 plays with #4’s wooden train set.  
  • #4 complains.
  • I ask #5 to put it away before their dad takes them to school.  
  • #5 demands #4 to help her.  
  • #4 ignores her.  
  • #5 screams at #4 to help her.  

Fifteen minutes to go before the bell.

  • Yes, #5 needs to get off her little demanding tantrum and put it away.  
  • #4 could help if he wanted to.  
  • I presented both sides of the argument to both parties.  
  • Both parties not budging.  
  • Test (tease) #4’s unhelpfulness using next terms excursion as a carrot.

Oh My Gracious me!  Warning sirens blaring with the bursting of the dams right in my face that I just wanted to shove something in to stop it or maybe slap it closed.  Pushing #4 out of my immediate space #5 is welling up and pipes, “You are not allowed to push him you know”.  “Are you serious?”, I say to myself.

Still talking to myself, “If you just packed away his trainset we wouldn’t be here right now.  Or maybe not play with it in the first place.  And you wanna tell me what I shouldn’t be doing.  I didn’t push him.  I moved him out of my immediate range of wanting to slap his ‘fingernails-scraping-on-blackboard-wailing-in-my-face’ face because I used his excursion against him so he could help you and you could stop your demanding screaming and go to school HAPPY.  I don’t want to send you unhappy to those poor teachers because I didn’t deal with my $h!t. (not at all referencing my kids) That is not their job.  They need to teach you all the IMPORTANT stuff that I don’t otherwise have time to, so you can have an awesome future…..and think with your HEAD and come up with a logical and wellthought out presentation for your parents of why you want to be with someone at twenty something years old.  ANNNND, I want you to go to school HAPPY.  I WANT FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY DAMMIT!”

Massive conversation in seconds.  Five minutes to go before school.  Losing miserably.  An avalanche of fraudulent parenting.  I need to read even more parenting articles.  I need to do more workshops or something.  In all seriousness, I only have 24 hours like everyone else.  Sometimes I feel like a fraud.  It’s funny how I focus on the uglies.

Conflict management is a transferable skill you know.  Mastery comes with practise.  North Korea and U.S.A. stop being my children.

Acutally when I take it all in. We haven’t done too badly. Stuff to work on. ALWAYS. It’s constant.

Parenting, actually.

p.s.  No children were harmed and sent to school as HAPPY as possible.  Husband came back to make sure I was happy.  Two heads are better than one at this,  I guess.  I am very thankful for him and our plot for FOREVER.

Samoan Ninja: The way of the Jandal


Removing all unnecessary distractions to obtain satisfactory results.

EUREKA! It hit me like a lightning bolt.

#2 smirks with satisfaction as she envisions her mother being struck by a lightning bolt.  That’s all any of them could hold onto when I declared my love for them.

Sweet smiling ninja momma unleashed her unconditional love and responsibility for her most precious miracles.

A job well done requires full attention.  Focus means to zone in on the goal.  Achieving your goal will take every single possible action necessary.  Exceeding all expectations.  Leaving no stone unturned.

Captivated and wide eyed with anticipation were my older three children (15/12/12) after last Tuesday’s dinner.

“It is important to remove all unnecessary distractions that hinder your success in satsifactorily fulfilling ALL your goals. It is my responsibility to guide you towards greatness.  To do all that I can to ensure the results you seek.  You want the best.  I want it for you too-desperately.  I am taking it upon myself to make sure you will have the best.  Now and for the rest of your life.”

Meanwhile my husband is attempting poker face 😉

“I am REMOVING ALL ACCESS to ipods, (que moan-awwwww), computer, television (initiate eye rolling), movies, laptops and gaming consoles (administer medication for uncontrollable body jerking).

“Until further notice as I see an improvement in your relationships.  With each other.  With your committments to making things work in the home.  With your committments to all areas outside of the home.  What you have is privilege.  It must be treated as such.  Gratitude must be exercised daily irrespective of size.  Realising this for yourself will have you be great people in this world.  Taking on great things even beyond your own expectations.”

“You no longer have excuses.  I have removed them for you”. (Say thank you mum) 🙂

“This is not a discussion.  We have had those conversations for many many many times infinity, years.  This is now your life.  Your father and I will continue to guide you towards distinguishing what you need for yourself and your life.”

“You all know exactly what needs to be done.  You already possess detailed lists of the expectations.  Questions have been answered repeatedly.  There is nothing else.  Thank you for letting us help you”.

Open discussions did not exist in my day.  There was only the way of the jandal.  I am thankful for it-for me.  It was only jandal every other day.  Not really.  It only seemed that way.

My husband and I have had many a conversation, often with guilt.  We can do better.  We can do more.  Doing the best by our five children.  Allowing them a voice to express themselves.  Instilling core values.

SERIOUSLY.  The way of my mums jandal seems a much easier option and requires less talking.  (oh to have quiet solitude)

After years of conversations I have lifted my foot and administered my own jandal.  Like me back then, my children didn’t see it coming.  And you know that it doesn’t matter if you try and run, the jandal bends around corners.  The action scenes in the movie, ‘Matrix’, was inspired by the jandal of Samoan mothers.  The jandal never misses it’s target.

I can attest to past success of mothers physical jandal as a predictable future of my own ninja jandal.

Already #1 has markedly made distinctions while #2 and #3 are realising the necessity of conforming (que evil laugh)  🙂

Ha ha ha ha.

[A jandal is an open type of foot wear like a sandal.  Referred to as thongs in Australia.  Jandal is used in Samoa and New Zealand]